he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
