I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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