Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
