i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
where does the pee come out of this thing
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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