Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
