dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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