After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Can Purell be used as lube?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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