We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
