Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
You were trust falling into bushes
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
