Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
