"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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