I didn't shave. On purpose
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize