It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
