theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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