Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
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