There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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