just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
