You're so nebulous sometimes
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I wish I only lived at night.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
