I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
