I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
It's never too late to be topless.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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