I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
