yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
