PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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