we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
