When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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