We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
