btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
