Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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