Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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