how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I got inside last night via doggy door
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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