Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
