Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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