apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
