people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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