My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
you never un-have a 4some
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
