I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
