You're completely useless in the revolution.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
