CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
