Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
