She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I AM VODKA MAN
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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