hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
