I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
