im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
And then he peed in my hair
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