Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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