Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
not ubering you a puppy
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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