My hair reeks of homosexuality.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
