She tied me up with her honor cords...
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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