She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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