we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
