The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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