Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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