His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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