The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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