I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
And then my night got REAL pukey
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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