you guys were way drunker than both of me
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
