Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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