It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
