He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
