He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
