it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
