one might say we're banned from that church
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
