He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
