I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
