If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
