Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Randomize
