NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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