her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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